It is a truth (nearly) universally acknowledged that birds exist. It is a truth somewhat less universally acknowledged that a portion of them are 鈥渂irbs鈥�: a somewhat ambiguous online avian classification encompassing the small (usually), the round (often), and the cute (always). To create clarity around this popular meme, 福利姬视频 proposed a set of carefully considered rules for parsing the birbs from the birds. Among the masses, a great rejoicing rang out鈥攁s well as much debate. And amid the hubbub came further questions: What about the other words that the internet, in its unending love of neologisms, has bestowed upon birds? What about 鈥渂orbs鈥� and 鈥渇loofs鈥�? Where do they fit into 福利姬视频鈥檚 taxonomic rankings?

Consider then the . Urban Dictionary provides the canonical definition: a fat bird. This perceived fatness isn鈥檛 incidental to their appeal but central to it: Where the roundness of the classical birb is merely a component of its appeal, the borb is roundness. Their plush, planetary shapes exert a gravitational pull on our hearts and minds. 

The name borb is likely a portmanteau of bird and orb. (An etymological search does turn up 鈥斺€渇oolish, rude, uncouth鈥濃€攚hich is interesting but surely unrelated.) It鈥檚 an unspoken rule of internet dialect that rounding a word intensifies the implicit fatness of its subject: Take the relationship in cats or the pig-affiliated meme ,鈥� which uses umlauts to emphasize the uncanny size of its subjects. If birb is a rounder-sounding word than bird, then borb is the roundest sounding word: Speaking it forces the mouth into an O shape, echoing the shape of the beast itself.  

As such, the key and sole criteria for a borb is roundness, a quality at least partially dependent on behavior and moment-to-moment activity. Save for penguins and other blubber-dependent bird species, most wild birds are not, strictly speaking, fat: Their high calorie diets are rapidly burned off by fast metabolisms and energy-intensive activities: running, foraging, and flying. That perceived fatness is often created by a bird's feathers, which essentially function as  shape-shifting body suit that allows them to take on () different appearances. Birds tend to fluff up in winter, ; before ; when applying ; or for purposes of display or signalling emotional reactions. As it happens, there鈥檚 an internet slang word for a fluffed-up bird, too: a floof.

Interestingly, a floof is not necessarily always a bird. The word refers to any abundantly fluffy creature. In mammals, floofiness is largely a passive attribute, but birds engage in it as a matter of behavior. Most birds鈥攔egardless of their status as birb鈥� can floof at will. That means that birds otherwise locked out of the birb category can qualify as floofs: ostriches in full strut, ruffled birds of prey, and . On the other hand, smooth birds鈥攊.e adult penguins鈥攁re not and cannot be floofs, because they lack the ability to fluff up their feathers. Floof is a weak noun and a strong verb: It is a way of life and one of the few things dogs, cats, and birds all have in common. We may therefore understand that a borb, like any other birb, is. A floof does.  

Let us now apply this logic. Borbs as a category heavily intersect with birbs, defined as both are by roundness. But just as every bird is not a birb, every birb is not a borb. Some birds naturally have deep chests and short necks, easily securing their borbness: chickadees, European Robins, and Bearded Tits, the last of which seems to be the poster child for the type. Other clear borbs include pigeons, thrushes, warblers, game birds, small parrots, most owls, and penguins. While wading birds can appear remarkably compact, like a scrunched-up Green Heron, this is an illusion, a deception, a trick鈥�they can only aspire to borbness. Some individual birds can also be borbs, even if their species at large doesn鈥檛 qualify: , for example, sleepy lovebirds, or bread-fattened urban ducks (though 福利姬视频 wishes to make clear that you should keep a careful eye on your pet birds鈥� diet and never feed bread to waterfowl.) It's also important to remember that a borb can also be a floof, as the latter only requires the fluffing of feathers. 

This, then, is 福利姬视频鈥檚 taxonomy of birb: Birbs are small, round, and either cute or absurd; borbs are those birds that carry apparent roundness to an extreme; and most birds can floof when the mood suits them. Any amorphousness in this taxonomy is a feature, not a failure: Birds and words are both shape-shifting things, shrinking and growing by turns, flitting between categories. We can cage them for a time, but in the end, it鈥檚 always better to see them fly.